aceshigh75

All respects to Mr. Burton and Mr. Depp, but this is the real Willy Wonka to me forever and ever.

You LOSE!! Good day, sir!

So the book I bought on Sat. evening is quite possibly one of the strangest and most frightening books I've ever read. There's entire net forums dedicated to dissecting this book. There are footnotes within footnotes within footnotes. There is an entire chapter of nothing but names of photographers, where the first letter of each last name spells out hidden messages.

The book is about a house. A house that's bigger on the inside than the outside. But really, it's also about the thin layer between sanity and insanity. It's truly frightening sometimes. It's heartwrenching and sad at other times...

I highly recommend it and I haven't even finished the first 100 pages yet.

Swear by the shallow,
dreamtorn and sallow,
swallow this serving,
swerving towards you.

In horror you watch,
a slip and a botch,
a mistaken word from the blue.

Back breaking I shake,
this quaking mistake,
snatching my hope from the sky.

Then crashing back down,
a scissored sad clown,
cut from a scream and a lie.

Cacophony ceaseless,
the gnashing and creases,
left from the how, when and why.

But my crinkled heart lacks,
a beat and a back,
that I lay upon and gaze high.

Yet wishing deep wells
and the chanting of spells
do nothing to bring her hand nigh.

So I grasp empty air,
and my thousand yard stare,
belies the once spring happy time.

These words they flow tightly,
and again they swerve nightly,
remembering this simple sad rhyme.

So hey the raptor inspired a cool idea. A nice little list of things I want to do in my life. This is a tough one cause honestly, I want to do EVERYTHING. Funny how I usually do nothing eh?

1. Finish school for Atmospheric Science.
2. Minor in Art, just for the hell of it.
3. Take at least one photography class.
4. Paint a good portrait.
5. Shoot a gun. (Flamethrower sounded like a pretty awesome idea too. :P)
6. Obtain and shoot a bow and arrow in a competition.
7. Learn to fly a plane.
8. Program a popular application
9. Program a small, yet fun, game (or make a good mod for a game)
10. Write and publish a novel or compilation of poetry.
11. Learn to play violin.
12. Get my own damn place again.
13. Design and build my own entertainment center. (The furniture I mean)
14. Get a job as a weather (preferably hurricane) researcher. Terribly exciting, I know.
15. Ride.. and possibly own.. a motorcycle.
16. Meet an awesome woman who loves me for me and who isn't insane. Cause like a certain raptor said, all this is more fun with a partner.
17. Visit Europe, including, but not limited to, UK, Ireland, Spain, Italy, France, Germany and Holland.
18. Visit Egypt and explore the Pyramids!
19. Visit Japan and go to an arcade there.
20. Take a driving trip of all 48 of the continental US.
21. Visit Alaska and Canada on above trip too.
22. Learn to control telekinetic energies so I can move objects with my mind.
23. Become a troubled supervillian with the above. But at the last minute turn hero and save the world from my devious plans!
24. Yeah, that time traveling thing too. Besides visiting cool time periods and maybe hearing Ancient Egyptian spoken, I wanna take a trip back and smack some sense into myself about 17 years ago so maybe I could've done most of this stuff before now. :P

That's all for now. I'm getting started on this list immediately!

It's that time again finally. All the TV shows have more or less wrapped up their seasons. Time for me to watch all the shows I've been avoiding the last 6-7 months.

24 Season 6, Lost Season 3, and Battlestar Galactica Season 3 are the ones I'll definitely be getting.

Also will be checking out Stargate Atlantis again this year, but their season isn't done yet. Might get the final season of SG-1 too, but to be honest I wasn't too impressed with post-Richard Dean Anderson SG1. He lent a ton of humor and a lot of good acting to that show, and it needed it. The last season was really kinda cheesy and boring without him. Again, their season isn't quite over yeat, so not getting either yet.

I'll also be checking out new shows..

House. I caught one, one night on USA (with Dave Matthews as a special guest star) and really liked it. I normally hate Dr. shows, but this one was definitely different. House is a prick and sarcastic as all hell and of course I love that.

Heroes. I've heard great things from many friends about this show so I'm very eager to check it out. The commercial blitz kinda put me off (Save the cheerleader. Save the world... Are you on The List?... Are you fucking kidding me?). But I'll still see what all the talking is about at least.

Prison Break. Another one I've heard some good things about. Plus I had no idea the lead guy from John Doe (a show I loved), Dominic Purcell is on this one. So I'll be watching it to see that guy. He's a really good actor.

I think that's about it. If anyone has any more recommendations I'm always up for a few more good shows.

I do believe I just found my very first girlfriend/kiss/love and tons of other stuff on MySpace. I searched her school on a whim, and there she was, older but more or less exactly as I remember her. Married, but hey I doubt we'd be hooking up even if she wasn't. It's just terribly odd that I found her after all these years. It's been almost 15 years since I even talked to her.

I did send her a message. I'm not 100% positive it's her yet, mostly cause I have looked around online for her before and never found her. We'll see though. I'm 99.9% sure.

It would be wildly ironic that I found her online again after all these years since we pretty much met online before the internet even really existed. haha

Strange night...

This guy's Platypus Man HBO special was one of the funniest comedy shows ever. I'd put him up there with George Carlin in terms of funny. Sucks. :(

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/11/comedian.dead.ap/index.html

So I'm heading down that road I said I wouldn't. The one that ends in me getting completely destroyed by some woman who seems incredible on the surface. Yeah, I'm talking about Amy, the woman I met recently. I really am feeling a huge connection with her. Something I haven't felt since Sunny to be honest. I'm doing my best to restrain blurting out anything incredibly stupid and just relegating those feelings to what I've convinced myself is harmless flirting.

It's difficult, but I know it's for the best to not do what I have done in the past. I need to get to know her better. I just wish I could relax about the whole situation. I feel like I'm standing on a cliff and thinking that while jumping would ultimately lead to my demise, I love doing crazy stuff like this. Then my brain starts pushing me away from the edge forcefully and I feel like I shouldn't even be talking to this girl. Not now. I have nothing to offer besides some witty conversation and the promise of a future which may or may not come to pass once my grandmother is out of my care or gone.

I don't want to mislead her or anything into thinking I'm not interested either though. Because I most definitely am. She is so much different than any other girl I've dated in the past. I was convinced that the ones as kind as she appears to be would never be interested.

I just have to keep reminding myself to go slow and not rush for once. That will be my mantra as I jump off the cliff and ram smack into the rocks of the galactically stupid.

For those interested. Made a MySpace page here:

http://www.myspace.com/159500965

Feel free to add me! My one lonely friend needs company. :)

So I've been talking to that girl, Amy is her name, quite a bit.

One of the nicest people I've met in a long time. Plus, like I mentioned before I believe, she lives very close to me. So it'd be nice to have a friend who lives close to just be able to do silly things with. Wish all of my friends lived that close. I'd love to visit with any and all of you who are able to read this, and some who are not.

Hopefully when circumstances allow, I will be able to.

For the moment, I'm trying to figure out how to come up with some money to fly out to California and visit Christina, who invited me to geek paradise and is easily the friend I haven't seen in the longest time. Plus, California! That would be awesome.

We'll see. Hopefully, I can come up with the money and arrange it.

In the meantime, I'd like to arrange to do something fun with Vanessa sometime, so when/if you read this, let's see if we can figure out something fun to do and some time you are free and I will cattle prod myself into a visit. :)

Oh also, again, assuming you all read this and still use AIM, if Vanessa or Jen or Christina want to chat with me, my new AIM is 'forgodsakes29'. Leave your name here or message me on there if you would so we can chat sometime. Thanks!

So, I met someone new. A girl. She actually lives right near me, literally down the street almost. Of course, that means I met her online first, because I'm a geek. :P

We have quite a bit in common on some real basic levels, actually. Nice people who have gotten walked on many times in the past. Mistakes, sometimes one's we're still making. Overall though, one of the most sincere people I've met in a long time. And I like to consider myself sincere also, by the way. :)

Is there the possibility of something more there? I don't know, of course. I'd be lying if I denied it hadn't entered my mind. But for once, I'm not going to jump into that shallow pool headfirst (heh). Going to take much more getting to know anyone I meet now to get anywhere near my heart.

But yes, it really is fun getting to know someone new, anytime. Asking all those silly questions and seeing someone's new little world for the first time.

Anyway, color me hopeful. Possible new friend. Yay!

32 years. 32 long, interminable years of having to deal with my addictive personality, my weird repressed family, and all the idiots who pull out in front of me any time I get behind the wheel of a car.

Oh but I'm grateful too. For life in general. For being able to find the funny in my situation and in most any situation. Funny to me anyway.

So much left to do and so little time to do it in...

Speech recognition has gotten really good. Right now, I haven't touched my keyboard or my mouse in the last 10 minutes. I've managed to open up Internet Explorer, navigate to LiveJournal, select a new post, and finally dictate everything you've read.

This is really amazing to me because the last time I tried this I had to read to the computer for about 3 hours and it still got about 75% of the words wrong. So speech recognition has come a long way.

Anyway, I just wanted to try this out. By the way, I'm doing this on Windows Vista so don't expect this to work in Windows XP.

So, my birthday is in 2 days. I'll be... older. I still have yet to actually feel old, or grown up for that matter. This could be a problem later in life when my age starts catching up to me.

Overall, I'm a little disappointed that I'm not where I thought I'd be when I was this age. I figured by now I'd be married, have kids, own a house.. I dunno.. a job at least. The lack of accomplishment could very well be why I don't feel my age yet.

That said, I'm glad I have the opportunity to do something nice for my family. Still though, it gets more difficult everyday to sit back and not be accomplishing something more in life.

Saw this commercial during the Super Bowl. Thought it was hilarious.

So, yesterday my ex-girlfriend Sunny called me out of the blue. Haven't talked/emailed/IM'd her for about a year and a half. She was asking how we (my family and I) were because of the tornadoes here earlier this week. They missed us by about 5 miles or so, by the way.

At any rate, I was incredibly rude to her. And I could tell I hurt her. I heard it in her voice. I still can, I guess.

Anyway, I felt guilty all day yesterday. And this morning, I decided to go ahead and write her what would be a 'Dear Jane' email I guess. Basically saying how sorry I am I was so rude, and I'll always love her in some part of my heart, but I can't be friends with her because, quite simply, it hurts too much.

The whole thing had a definite air of finality to it. I hope she gets the message. I hope I don't hurt her, cause that's really not my intention either. I just want her to go about her life and be happy. Just... without me.

Oh well. This thing just doesn't go away. I know the instant I get a new, serious girlfriend eventually, I'll forget all about all this. But as long as I'm on my own, it's just going to simmer in my soul.

In other news, continuing to contact old friends. Apologizing and trying to rekindle friendships. Hope things keep going decently...


P.S. Hehehe 2/3rds a match, I'll even let you pick which pieces of me you want. =P Those questions are so random and difficult to answer sometimes. I usually want another choice. =)

forgodsakes matches

67%

with your_arsenal


Take your_arsenal's MatchMe Test
Take forgodsakes's MatchMe Test

Brought to you by:
OkCupid - Free Online Dating!

Windows Vista Ultimate Edition, with all it's vaunted security and activation 'features' was cracked by replacing two files and getting a beta key from Microsoft itself. And I now have a fully activated copy of the most expensive version of Vista.

I should point out that I did not come up with this method. I simply followed directions. =) I also have yet to actually have to pay for any version of Windows, ever.

Congratulations, Microsoft. Once again, you've shown that corporate greed can be circumvented by a little cheap hacker ingenuity.

There are these cranes outside my window at the moment. Not construction cranes, but bird cranes. The kind who's legs fold the wrong, scary way. They showed up about, oh.. 6 months ago or so. At first, I thought it was pretty neat. I'd never seen a crane before. They're pretty big. There's two of them and they would walk quietly around the field next to my room and peck food out of the grass. They have this bright red plumage on the top of their head that's really vivid and unreal looking, like a picture in a bird book.

Then some old woman started feeding them, so the cranes never left. Eventually, they started becoming vocal. I don't know if you've ever heard a crane call, but imagine the loudest, most annoying sound you can, then multiply it by like 50. That's about what it sounds like. This unholy screeching happens almost non-stop when they start because of whatever reason, be it hunger, an argument between crane lovers about how the guy crane came home late and dammit the girl crane had a nice pot roast that's all ruined now and why the hell doesn't the guy crane call if he's gonna be late for dinner, or I dunno, possibly because the old woman stands out there throwing food at them for hours on end and all the cranes want is some worms and that woman to go the hell away.

Either way, they tend to screech at about 6am, daily. Right outside my window.

So my question is this: If I release my cat, possibly sharpen his claws up a bit and maybe give him a GUN, would that be considered murder of these cranes or would it just be considered nature taking it's course?

So yeah, I have what's known as 'bad teeth'. My grandmother, mom, and dad all had lost enough teeth to have to have dentures by their 40s. So, no matter how much I brush and floss, I get cavities like no tomorrow. Soft enamel I believe the dentist called it. Cleanings every few months might alleviate this problem, but the fact that I haven't had much money recently has contributed to losing several teeth to extraction, rather than saving them with root canal and caps. It's the difference between 1700 dollars for root canal and 250 for extraction.

I had another removed this past week. Leaving me with 6 of 12 molars. Not good at all. Now I already have another toothache on the only side I can chew on. It was covered by the extreme pain of the last one that had abscessed a couple teeth away. This is very very bad.

Eventually, I'll have a job and restore at least some of them, especially one I lost on my smile line, with implants, which are wildly expensive, but the thought of getting dentures in my early 30s is very not appealing. So I'm looking at approximately 15k in implants. Not to mention any other problems I may have in the future, though hopefully I'll have the money for root canals.

At any rate, right now, painful to chew. Again. Damn. *sigh*

At least it's in the 30s here right now. Nice and cold. Yay!

I love winter. Love it. This whole global warming thing is really starting to upset me, because it's making my beloved cold weather more and more rare in Florida. The next few days though promise to be chilly by Sunshine State standards.

Whenever it's cold I go back to a time in my life when things were... better I suppose. Driving to a concert with friends, windows down and heater on full blast. That perfect mix of hot and cold that just stuck in my memory forever. I bet it will be one of those things I'm thinking about on my way out of this life one day.